Hey, I work at 7 am on Saturday and Sunday. Help me help me by NOT inviting me out, not calling me to meet you at the bar at midnight. You may leave me drunken voice mails and dedicate kareoke songs to my ghost, but I will only come out and whoop it under the following circumstances:

-you are with David Bowie and you are pretty much convinced he would let me sit on his lap
-you are going to put out
-you are haging out with Kristen Bell (TV's Veronica Mars) and she is drunk and admitting that she is a preemie


-Jackie Hell is at the Crescent and just put in a slip to sing Mmmm Bop


-two words. I mean three. Free Buffalo Wings
-you have a hot, fairly disease free friend who is going to put out. Maybe his name is say, Gael?


-someone is having a really rad party...with a bounce house!

Otherwise, I will try my damnedest to resist you, all you irrestiable yous on these, the weekend nights.

PS also let me know if Macaulay Culkin is in town, I'm dead serious about him being in my "who I'd like to meet"


Why should Larry King have all the fun?