Ride on Laxitive

I've been working in the Ferry Terminal for about a week and I've noticed that ferry passengers are always shitting in the bathroom. When I use the public toilet the seat is always warm and today there were some "track marks" in the potty. Does all that ferry boat tooting and the waves of Puget Sound rattle one's digestive track? Are there not adequete toilet facilities on the other side of these ferry destinations? Is it all outhouses and yesterday's newspaper in Bremerton?
I need to look into this.

*tip

I read that if you're out of toilet paper it's advisable to take a wad of newspaper and soften it in your fist for 15 minutes and then wipe. Next time you're out just pull out last week's stranger and an egg timer!