With my current room mate packing up his room and who knows who moving in, I've decided to listen to my favorite Paul Anka song and decided to dream, dream, dream,dream, dream, dream up my ideal roommate. Let me know if this person exists!

Qualities for an ideal roommate:
Will check my boobs for lumps
Will tell me if weird bumps are ingrown hairs, zits, or genital warts
Compulsively purchases items from TV infomercials so that one day I will be fully stocked with food dehydrator,routissuire cooker, and bacon wave
spray tan (*tan people like to party!)
InTouch subscription
Frequently plans cheese cake factory dates
Has touched Ben Lashes's penis
Owns seasons 1 and 2 of Veronica Mars
Will help me pluck out those 3 or 4 unseemly chin hairs that I just can't see from any of my plucking mirrors
Professionally trained masuesse/dog masuesse who does NOT work from home
Hot (available, no "open relationships" either, those are for gamers) cousins, brothers, stepbrothers who may need to crash from time to time
Understands that liking black licorce is a true character flaw