Why, what's that jingle jangle sound?
Why, that's the clang of feminism in my pocket!

In an effort to fight the patriarchy, I'm resolving from now on to trade in all my George Washington one dollar bills for Susan B.'s and Sacagawea's. Who's with me ladies? Did you know that we here in America are the last country to have the dollar in bills? And why is that? Because there's no dollar coin with a MAN on it. Think about it!!!! Consider those Cathy comic-esque exclaimation points, I'm just that frazzled over the situation!!!!!! First women have nothing to wear to work despite a closet full of clothes, then they have to lug a bunch of white men around with them all day!!!!!!! Forget the fluffy light weight of the dollar, the fun of folding it in half and tilting it for a game of "sad Washinton happy Washington". Make like the post office stamp vending machines and switch to our convenient founding mothers of this country! That fold-y bill game is more fun with Lincoln! "Before abolition/after abolition"!!!! Now that's something to frown/smile about!!

Another great thing about lady money is that Susan B's are octagon-y so blind people don't have to worry about giving someone a twenty as a tip on accident at Starbucks! This could make our nation a better place. We all know those fuckers are Starbucks are over-tipped! Don't get me started on those money grubbers at Tully's. The minute you open your purse to pay for that non fat carmel latte they know the whole contents of your billfold!!! And that oh my tip jar is so empty routine? Yeah, it's empty cause they dug out all the fives and fifties and left the sad green pennies and quarters flatened at the railroad tracks!!!! I'm on to those mischevious coffee slinging scamps!!

Come one sisters of the monetary revolution!! Swap your Georges with me!!! I'll meet you in line with all the grannies at Bank of America. Except I'm not using mine to give bratty grandbabies underappreciated cash gifts, I'm using them to fight the man!!!!

Cunt power!!!
IN COIN FORM!!!!